Deoch Mass 10/7/2020 - The Bounty of Temuair

 
It is an honor to stand here, giving praise to Deoch once again. 

I last stood at the head of this temple nearly a cycle ago now. It wasn’t my intention when I stepped outside this hall that evening not to step back in anytime soon. I wish I could say that my long absence was part of some grand design… but it was not.

For a time I lost Temuair; my dreams instead walked the darkness. So many times I preached self-care from this very spot only to not heed my own words. Even with the best of intentions, we can all slip.

There have been many instances since my first awakening that I have lost my connection to this dream. But they were not prompted by a lack of fulfilment. On the contrary, while in Temuair I have formed a great many friendships, been humbled by dedicated congregations, and… most dear to my heart… been blessed to have loved; surely the rarest and most joyful of feats.

You will find that people come and go from Temuair for many sorts of reasons. No doubt all of us have friends that no longer walk among us. When you think of people that used to walk Temuair, there are two things I ask of you; they are things I must often ask of myself.

First, find it within yourself not to cast aspersions on those who are no longer among us. Through it all, this realm is but a temporary home. If another dream calls them away, that is the path they must follow whatever their reasons may be. Love those with us while they are here and remember well and fondly all those that have drifted elsewhere in the aether.

And, the other: do not carry the weight of blame on your shoulders for those who have gone. I have come to know very well the brand of emotion that goes with thinking you have let others down. From thinking ‘I could have done more’ or ‘If only I would have been there’.

To the grieving mind, there is a thought that this kind of mental penance of self blame is appropriate. It is not. Whatever circumstances the past holds, it is forever the domain of time passed. Whatever missteps you believe you have made are a chance for a better self and a brighter future; but that all begins with forgiving your guilt and looking forward.

These days I spend a lot of time dreaming here thinking back on friends and family I no longer get to see. For those of us that return time and time again, that is our lot in life. In older times I might despair in these moments of reflection but now I see and understand that Temuair has lavished a bounty upon me during my life here and that is something to be remembered fondly with thanks, not distress.

Wherever it is my spirit travels in the future, the memories of my life here and the very real feelings I have had for so very many people… I will carry them with me forever. I do hope that you, too, have been fortunate enough to have found such everlasting bonds during your time in Temuair.

If not, there is still time. Until the very end, there will always be time.